| Beer Quotes |
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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry ~
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer." ~ Dave Barry ~ "My advice to you is to start drinking heavily." ~ John Belushi in Animal House ~ "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." ~ Cliff Claven, Cheers ~ "If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs." ~ David Daye ~ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Ben Franklin ~
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'" ~ Jack Handy ~ "I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer." ~ Abraham Lincoln ~ "Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into." ~ Don Marquis ~ "24 beers in a case and 24 hours in a day is no coincidence." ~ Paul Newman ~ "He was a wise man who invented beer." ~ Plato ~ "All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer." ~ Homer Simpson ~ "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." ~ Frank Sinatra ~ "An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do." ~ Dylan Thomas ~ "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." ~ Hunter S. Thompson ~ "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." ~ Tom Waits ~ "Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world." ~ Kaiser Welhelm ~ "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?" ~ Stephen Wright ~ "You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer." ~ Frank Zappa ~ |
